Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I Thought "Fall" Was Over

Heather is big and prego now and we expect Reddin to come any minute. Actually, she is scheduled to be induced this Friday. Yes, the day after Christmas. I am sure he'll love that when older and realizes he got jipped many times because his thrifty parents pulled the old two-fer year after year.

Well, Fall came and went and thankfully Heather kept her footing up until this week. Footing you ask? Yes, footing. I got a call while I was away working. Apparently a prego has an altered center of balance or something 'cause as she was walking in the house from the garage, she tripped and fell... those dang ant terds! Both her and Reddin were fine. I decided not to scold her as I am sure her pride was hurt enough.

Any kids reading, must stop reading right about now. Bye.

This morning we decided to "save some water" so we both jumped into the shower. Not easy and probably not safe with a nine-month prego lady. For some reason the non-slip turtles were doing a great job keeping the shower wall free from slipage. As my dear wife did the final rinse from shaving her legs, she slipped backwards. I am manly (I thought) and attempted to rescue her mid fall. Her back was facing me and I swooped my arms under hers and lifted her to safety. At least that's how I planned it. My unmanly attempt turned into a mini-disaster. She toppled back into me and I slipped and fell as well. She landed on her bum near my toes. I landed on the ground out of the tub with the curtain rod on my head. Water spewing out everywhere. My head hit the door and elbow the toilet paper holder on the wall. Oh yeah, just as we were entering the shower Heather told me how long my toe and finger nails were. It is too bad I didn't cut them sooner 'cause her butt has nasty scrapes from my toes and her back has deep scratches from my fingernails. Sorry baby.

I know there is a lesson to be learned here but I am not quite sure what it is. Please share with me in your comments what could be learned for future water conservation adventures (if there ever are any).

Sorry no pictures in this post.

10 comments:

The Starrs said...

I am laughing so hard right now that I am crying!

josh said...

I told erica that she can't shave her legs anymore. I would wear flip flops like the mish. Stops the slip and protects against athlete's foot.

rebecca said...

Pride cometh before the fall.
I can't wait for Wayne to read this in the a.m. He's out like a light. I'm glad Heather's ok, but I'm sure you'll be laughing about that shower forever.

America said...

That was too funny! Looks like the pregnancy has affected both of you!

Emily said...

Sad but hilarious, glad everyone's ok. I know all too well the "this is for your birthday AND Christmas" routine, but how exciting that Reddin will be born on the 26th! December babies are the best :)

Wayne said...

Make sure you photograph the reactions of all the nurses and doctors when they see the scratches and bruises. Good luck explaining that one. Classic!

kseal said...

Your story is awesome! That and classic. It's not often that a blog moves me to real, loud laughter. I love it.

Good ol' Reddin. Here's to you, little bro. From: a Dec 27th baby.

Faith said...

That is one of the most hilarious stories I have ever heard! I can't even begin to picture how you wouldn't have fallen out of that little shower! I would say maybe opt for a bath, but since she was shaving...that would make for a hairy situation as well! LOL. Thanks for sharing and thanks for not having any pics of that one, my mental picture is enough to keep me laughing for days! :)

Faith said...

YEAH! Welcome Reddin! I am so glad everything went well and you guys are home and happy! Let me know if there is anything I can do!

Dahle Pinata said...

I just finished reading your little "water conservation" escapade. Now that said, I think you two are definitely one of my fave couples--I'll be laughing into the eternities! Not going to forget this one! Hey may pen this one in ink forever...ya never know where your little stories end up.It certainly is a NOVEL idea.LOL As for lessons Matt, I think the lesson here is that this story is too funny to warrant a "lesson". I notice NO ONE has answered your question (in detail) on it anyhow. LOL Love the title of this piece! Whose wit is behind that one?