Truly Humbled

I feel like I need to get my feelings down about this weekend, while they are still fresh in my mind. I received a call from a member of my Stake Presidency this week. He told me that he needed to meet with Matt and I before stake conference was to take place. I told him Matt would be back in town on Friday night, and then I tried to get out of him which one of us the meeting would be about. Of course he wouldn't tell me. I immediately began to feel worried and anxious. I kept telling myself that the calling could be for Matt, but deep down I think that I knew it was going to be for me.

Pres. Rivoli came to our home on Friday night and after some chit chatting, turned to Matt and said, "Matt we would like to extend a calling... to your wife." My heart was pounding, as he told me that my name had been submitted to be called as the 1st counselor in the Stake Young Women's presidency. My first thought was, "Who on earth would submit my name? It must be somebody I know." These are the things I asked Pres. Rivoli, and he told me that she didn't know me and it was a very interesting story at how she came to choose me. This is the part that has been extremely humbling for me.

(I contemplated sharing the story in our blog, but I have decided not to. I am more than happy to share it, just ask, but have decided against actually posting the story.)

For a long time I have had a strong testimony that the Lord personally knows us and our needs, but sometimes I just go along in life and forget. The way I came to receive this calling was once again a testament to my knowledge of having a Heavenly Father that knows me personally! I can think of a TON of women in my stake who would be amazing at this calling. I am humbled to know that the Lord wants me to serve the YW of my stake at this time in my life. I feel so inadequate. I feel like I have SO much more to learn and that I am SO imperfect. With those things being said, I will say this, I have SUCH a love for the YWs program. I don't even know how to put into words the love I have for the young women of my ward, who I have been serving for the last couple of years. I love these girls as if they were my own, and I am overjoyed at the prospect of having that love grow for the young women of my stake. I grew up in the church and I remember how much the YWs program and my leaders meant to me as a teenager. I know the struggles that face these girls at this time in their lives, and I pray for them as they step up to the advisory. I have a strong testimony that there is a YM/YWs program in place in the church because it is what we need to help prepare us for the world, as we become adults.

I will most definitely miss the time I got to spend with "my girls" each week, it was a huge blessing in my life. They made me feel so young! I want them to know how much I love each of them and that they can still turn to me if they ever need anything. I am saddened at the thought of not being there in the YW's room each week along side Janet and Kendra. You ladies have been two of my best friends and I will ALWAYS remember how much fun we had being the "adults"! The YW are so blessed to have you both, and I hope they know how much you love them. I am excited to be working with the new stake YWs presidency. I have already spoken with the new president a few times and she seems wonderful. I pray that I will be able to do this calling well and not let my Father in Heaven down. I am grateful for this opportunity to serve and as I said before, truly humbled.

Approaching 30...

Yes, I am quickly approaching the next decade of my life and let me tell you I have been dreading it for YEARS. I don't know why the thought of turning 30 is such a terrible thing for me, but it is. Maybe it is because I still feel like a 24 year old, or maybe it is because I have loved my 20s and don't want to leave them, or maybe its because I just don't ever want to get old! For the last 2 years I have told Matthew that we are going to need to do something fun for my 30th, so that I won't be depressed. He saved a week of vacation to use just for me, thinking that we could possibly go some place super fun or exotic. But alas, we have the means of transportation and no money. Flying for free is great, but when there is no money to do anything once you get there, it kind of defeats the purpose! Anyway, we were however able to get a 3 day/2 night cruise booked to the Bahamas for very inexpensive. I have never been on a cruise, so I am very excited about it. Plus being able to spend some time with Matt without our kiddos will be great fun too! And this brings me to the point of this post...

I am about to turn 30, my baby just turned one and I am still carrying around extra weight. I would like to lose some more of this extra weight before the cruise, so that I can feel good about myself and enjoy it even more. I actually don't have a ton to lose weight wise, but the inches around the middle need to be worked on. It is not a huge secret that I have struggled with self-image issues for a majority of my life and it is an ongoing battle for me still. Yes it is true that I grew up being SUPER skinny, and yes I know that I am not fat now, but I am however still not able to get into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes, which makes me feel not so great about myself. Will most of you read this and think that I am crazy? Probably. But, I thought that by me posting my goal to start a workout routine, it would keep me motivated to stay on it!

This was me when I was 23 years old and got engaged to Matt.

I weighed 120 lbs and I am 5'11. The sad thing is that I use to cry all of the time about how fat I was. (Scary, huh?) Matt put up with a lot! I got pregnant 9 months into our marriage and boy did I enjoy it! I ate EVERYTHING in sight. Seriously I never stopped eating for those 9 months! Everyone told me that I was so skinny and it would be so easy to lose the baby weight. I of course, never really having worked out in my life, believed them. I gained close to 60 lbs. This is a picture of me the morning I went in for my induction to have Mattie.

(My sister find this picture funny and lovingly refers to it as "fat Heather"!)

Losing the baby weight after Mattie was a very hard thing for me. I expected it to just melt off, and let me tell you, it didn't! I became very depressed and consumed with trying to get my old body back. I joined a gym and hired a trainer to teach me how to work-out. I would go to the gym 4 or 5 days a week and yes, starve myself. It lead to a very unhappy Heather, which made for a very unhappy marriage. Finally, when Mattie was about a 18 months old, I acknowledged how unhappy I was (with the help of a very dear friend) and sought help. (My family did try to help me and have interventions, but I just wouldn't face the truth.)

Counseling changed my life! I was able to address my demons and recognize that I had an eating disorder. Matthew was a very patient and loving spouse through out it all, and I am so grateful to have him for eternity.

After finishing counseling, I was able to move on, but not without struggles and fighting. We decided it was time for another baby. It took us almost a year to get pregnant and this time I started out at 130 lbs, a much healthier weight.

I knew that I would be at risk for going through the depression and old eating disorder habits again. I tried to be a little more strict this pregnancy, but still ended up gaining 40 lbs. This was me the morning of my induction for Reddin.

I am happy to say that the obsession with losing weight and feeling crappy about myself ALL of the time never came. Yes there have been many times in the past year where I have looked at my body in the mirror and longed for my 130 lb frame, but I was never consumed by it. I knew that I was able to lose it once, and that I would be able to do it again. So the problem is my baby is one now and I have not gotten into a great exercise routine! I thought for sure I would lose it all by the time Reddin was a year old, but I just haven't worked at it. I have exercised here and there some, but never really "worked" at it. I do know what I need to do, I just haven't had the motivation... until now! Hello I am turning 30 next month and going on a cruise! I want to feel some what good in a bathing suit! Matt is terrible and doesn't help the situation at all, constantly telling me how much he loves my body how it is. Geesh what a guy!

So here it is, my post-year old baby body...

I think that this will motivate me to actually start working at it! Do I think that I will be in the best shape of my life by February 8th? No way! I do however hope to feel a little better about myself, so that I can truly enjoy my cruise with the hubby and embrace turning 30!!!

Happy 1st Birthday

On Saturday, Dec. 19th, we had a birthday party for Reddin, along with his cousin Lochlan and buddy Drew Smith. All 3 boys were born in December, with in a couple of weeks of each other. Stephanie and I started planning the boys party a while ago, and then thought it would be lots of fun to invite the Smiths to join in!

On Saturday morning we woke up to find it very windy and cold. We were having the party at a park on the river over on beachside, which meant more windy and cold than inland. We had to forgo some of our decorations because it was just too windy.

We had a BBQ and asked our guests to bring a side dish instead of presents. The food was yummy, and we really appreciate all those that were able to make it to the party!

Reddin was not the happy little guy he normally is, at the party. I think that the cold wind was getting to him. It just goes to show that he is a true FL boy, and loves the heat!

It was a little harder for me to truly enjoy his party, as much as would have if little Redd had been happy. Drew and Lochlan had a great time though and it was super fun watching them.

When it came time for the boys to eat their giant cupcakes we made, Reddin wanted nothing to do with it! He just cried and it was pretty sad! (What is it with my children not liking to get their hands dirty? Mattie did the same thing when she turned one!) Drew and Lochlan on the other hand dug right in. They were so cute and funny!

The one thing that Redd did seem to like were the swings at the park. He had a fun time swinging and laughing at us.

We were also able to get a couple of great family shots too, with the help of Grandma and our neighbor Matt!

My dearest Reddin, I love you so much and I am extremely grateful that you are part of our family. This past year has gone by so fast, and I can't believe how much you have changed.

You are walking all over the place and you never want to stop moving! You do however still love snuggle time, and for that I am so thankful. I wish you could stay my precious little snuggler forever! I love your sweet smile that you are always so willing to share. I love how easy it is to put you down for naps and bedtime. You have always loved your crib and known that it means sleepy time! You do however, have a little temper when someones tries to take something from you that you want, and you have become quite vocal about it! It has been fun watching you become your own little person, even if it drives your dad crazy that you scream like a girl!

Happy Birthday little Redman! Thank you so much for loving us and allowing us to love you right back! Our family wouldn't be complete without you!

Another Update

So I of course have gotten behind on blogging AGAIN! I would really like to catch up before we have Christmas and Reddin turns one! Here I go with another super LONG post.

First of all, I'm going back to September, to when Mattie got her wish for a little girl! Nope not from Mommy and Daddy, obviously, but from Tia America and Uncle Chris. Liliana Elizabeth Tarpein made her debut on Earth! Mattie has lots of girl cousins on the Menzie side, but this is her first on the Tarpein side, and boy was she excited. She can't wait for Lili to get a little bigger, so that they can wear matching clothes! Congrats to my big brother Christopher and his lovely wife America! We are so happy that Liliana has joined the family, and that we get to see you guys often.

We also took our annual trip to Massachusetts, which originally I wanted to give its own post to, but I'm not sure that will ever would have happened! It was a fun filled long weekend, which started off with Mattie getting her sweet prayer answered. To make a very long story short, there was NO way at all that we should have made it on the last flight out Friday night. There were 2 seats left, one in coach and one in first. There are 3 of us that need seats. The jump seat was open in the cockpit, but Matt wasn't dressed for it and didn't have his passport. We told Mattie that we weren't going to be able to go, and she got very sad and then went over to a chair, sat down and began saying a prayer. A couple of things happened very quickly after that. The Captain came walking up and after being asked if Matt could ride in the jump seat regardless of his appearance, he said yes. Then they quickly moved one person up to first and put Mattie, Reddin and I in coach, and off we went to Boston! I was very grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who answered the prayers of my innocent 4 year old, and allowed her to go and visit her cousins she was dying to play with!

We of course went apple picking at Tougas Farms, which was lots of fun! Reddin was digging on the apples, and I was loving the cooler weather. We got to go on a hay ride as well, which the kiddos loved. While we were in MA, we spent an afternoon at the park. We had a picnic and Matt and Wayne did some fishing. Little Wesley caught his first fish, a large mouthed bass! Mattie absolutely loved her time fishing with Matthew. Wayne caught a fish too, and he and Matt cooked them up that night. And, Matt being the ever joking uncle he is, decided he couldn't resist doing something disgusting to get a laugh out of Thomas and a squeal from the rest of us. The heart of one of the fish was still beating after over an hour of being out of the fish, so what does my wonderfully gross husband do? Oh yes, he EATS it! I know absolutely disgusting! We always love our time with the Beantown Menzies, and can't wait until we see them again!

Mr. Redd Man L-O-V-E-S his airplane blanket Aunt Becky made! It has the cutest airplane material on one side and then that super soft minky on the other side. Reddin snuggles it every night to go to sleep. Thank you so much Aunt Becky for the wonderful blanket and matching shirt!

Mattie finished up Swim Lessons for the year in October. She was in the most advanced class for her age group and has really started to get great at it. She tells us that she wants to be on the swim team and she was very sad when lessons finished for the year. I told Matt that I think this might be her sport. She's not the most coordinated kid, so swimming could be right up her alley! I guess only time will tell, but for now she is counting down the days to March/April!

October also brought Halloween! Halloween has been one of my favorite holidays since I was little. This year it feels like it lasted the whole month of October! It started with with an activity for the youth, in which we did a Reverse Trick or Treat. We all dressed up and took goodies to people in our ward. I am still serving in Young Womens, so I got to participate! I chose to dress up as Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger. It was Matt's idea to add the floaties! Mattie, Reddin and Gibbs had a great time playing with my mustache!

We also went to our favorite pumpkin patch to take our annual pictures and get a pumpkin. The Paxton family joined us this year, which of course was fun. Isn't it funny that my sister Stephanie and I had our little boys 10 days apart and they look NOTHING alike?! Oh well, Lochlan and Reddin are still great buddies, even if you can't tell that they are related!

Mattie had Spirit Week at her preschool the week of Halloween. On Tuesday it was Pirate Day, and we think that she was the cutest pirate there ever was! On Wednesday it was Pajama Day. Thursday was Mix-Match Day, and Friday was Halloween Costume Day. We sent Mattie to school in her belly dancer costume from last year, because we didn't want her getting her Cinderella costume for this year all messed up. Have I mentioned how much I am loving that she is in school?! She ADORES school and it has been so great for her!

We had our ward Trunk or Treat on Friday the 30th this year, which worked out so great, because we had never taken Mo real trick or treating before and we really wanted to this year. Mattie was Cinderella for Halloween, and Reddin was the Red Baron. I had actually bought Redd's costume when Mo was a baby and held onto it, hoping we would have a boy that would fit into it for one Halloween. Its a good thing Redd is so big, because he was 10 months old and was wearing a 12-18 month costume! Matt and I decided to dress up together this year. It was Matt that came up with our costume ideas. He was Kanye West and I was Taylor Swift. We had a GREAT time acting out that whole big fiasco! There was also a pumpkin carving contest this year, and Matt's entry won the Grand Prize. We won a four pack of movie tickets, which we will be using to take Momo to see The Princess and the Frog. Thanks for all of the hard work you put into that pumpkin, Matthew! On actual Halloween night we went trick or treating in my sister's neighborhood. Reddin was not a happy camper that night and slept through most of it, while Lochlan on the other hand could not get enough of the lollipops! And of course Mo and Redd had to try on my wig!

In October we also had our ward's Primary program. It was Mattie's first and she was asked by the music director to sing with another little girl. They sang the third verse of I Feel My Savior's Love. Mattie has had a deep voice since birth and I am beginning to wonder if she will make a great alto when she gets older, because she's four and already is having trouble hitting those high notes! (I've heard Matt's sister Shayla sing alto, and she has a beautiful voice, so maybe that's where Mo gets it from!) Here is Mattie and Allie.

For Thanksgiving we did what we do pretty much every year, and went to the Berger's house. We had a fun time eating and mingling with friends and family. Adam Berger, who is just a year older than me, lives and works in DC. He usually brings home a "mystery" meat each year for his family to try, and this year we got to try it too! Are you ready for this... it was KANGAROO! And yes, it was yummy! All four of us tried it and enjoyed it.

And that bring us to December. Last week we took Mattie and Reddin to the mall to get their pictures taken with Santa Claus. We have done this every year with Mattie and it was so fun to have Reddin be part of it this year. Reddin didn't cry, but I think it helped that he had Mattie with him! He did however give Santa a couple of funny looks. (Do you like his "stink-eye" picture?!)

Last, but not least, Mo had her last day of school until next year on Friday. She had a great time all week doing all sorts of fun things. On Friday the children were asked to wear Christmas colors to school, so that they could go around the school caroling. She also took in her presents that she helped make for her teachers. My sister helped us make some Ho Ho Ho blocks and Mattie painted an ornament for each teacher. We gave them their presents in a bag that we decorated with fabric glitter paint. Both Mrs. Stinnett and Mrs. Ross loved their presents.

Well, I guess that is all for now. Stay tuned, because there is a BIG shindig going down this weekend! Reddin will be celebrating his first birthday along side his buddies Lochlan Paxton and Drew Smith! Can't wait!